How Faith Leaders Can Help

1. Learn about the issues around battering and domestic violence. It is essential to know the dynamics, facts, barriers to leaving/getting help, impact on children and the roots of the violence. The domestic violence program in your area is an excellent resource for training options.

   Remember:

   • Most people are not aware of the obstacles victims faces when they seek help the legal, financial, emotional traps that bind them in the violent relationship.
   • There are even fewer resources for abusers who seek counseling to change their abusive behavior.
   • It is important to consider the extent of emotional and perhaps physical violence that impacts children in these relationships.
   • Domestic violence happens in same gender relationships too.
2. Encourage serious reflection on why and how domestic violence is a religious problem.
3. Consider the following issues often inherent in situations of domestic violence:
   • The fundamental experience that domestic violence can be life threatening
   • The victims sense of shame and humiliation
   • Issues of trust and betrayal, particularly as they relate to our capacity for a relationship to a Higher Power
   • The need for others to provide and for victims to accept help in healing the wounds, for abusers to accept responsibility and be accountable for the violence and, if necessary, to mourn the end of a relationship
   • The need to integrate the experience of battering with religious beliefs (Adapted from A Theological Perspective on Sexual Assault by Mary D. Pellauer)
4. Pursue collaborative leadership. People need vision and guidance and it can be provided best by those who have knowledge and experience in this field. program The domestic violence in your area offers a variety of FREE and CONFIDENTIAL services to victims as well as support, education and materials for family or community members.

Faith Leader support is vital to the safety and overall well being of domestic violence victims. Sometimes, helpers feel as though they are not doing enough, but they fail to realize that a non-judgmental kind word or gesture is often the key to making another person feel valued and cared for. Linking victims to the domestic violence program may be offering them a lifeline.

Dont Wait To Take Action

Dont wait for someone to be in crisis. Address this issue in your community. Make it clear that anyone can talk with you about violence in their family or relationship.

• Help the entire religious community be more aware of the issue.
• Make a library of books available to your congregation. (Ask the local program for suggestions)
• Invite a speaker to offer a program on domestic violence at your church, temple or mosque.
• Incorporate this issue into sermons, Sunday school and other classes.
• Post information about domestic violence in your buildings.
• Provide resources, pamphlets and information from the local domestic violence program.

Some Considerations for Faith Leaders about Domestic Violence in Rural Communities

Victims of domestic violence who live in rural areas face special challenges. While batterers tend to isolate their victims in any geographical setting, for victims in rural areas, this isolation is often even more severe. They may live miles from their nearest neighbor, friend or family member. Lack of available child care, few job opportunities, inadequate public transportation, distance from shelters and services, poverty and economic dependence are just some of the barriers that can make escaping a violent relationship even harder for rural women. Faith leaders can help lessen the isolation and facilitate contact with a local domestic violence program by developing a safe home network, where victims in crisis can go temporarily, until they can make contact with the local domestic violence program. Providing child care while they make phone calls or offering transportation to court hearings or counseling sessions are other ways to mitigate some of the challenges. Addressing the issue of economic dependence on the abuser is vital.

In small towns, it can seem as if everybody knows everyone else, especially the faith leader, congregation members and legal system personnel. A lack of anonymity and confidentiality makes it more difficult for victims of abuse to come forward and seek help. It is important for faith leaders to recognize this and create an environment that offers maximum privacy and unwavering support to the victim. In rural communities, faith leaders can be the first to take a strong public stance against domestic violence.

A close relationship between faith leaders, law enforcement and domestic violence program staff is essential, especially taking into consideration the limited resources often found in rural communities. If these professionals are continually working together, they will be better prepared to assist victims of domestic violence through the difficult process of dealing with the violence in their lives.

If the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being of the woman is intact, so too is that of the family, community and society.
Indigenous Proverb