Custody

Terminology

There are many terms used with custody, and people don´t always use them correctly. Here are some common terms:

Legal Custody

The right to make major decisions about the child, including, but not limited to medical, educational and religious decisions.

Primary Physical Custody

The actual physical possession and control of the child; the person the child resides with. Usually, schedules involve primary physical custody, spending more time with one parent, and partial physical custody, spending a lesser amount of time with the other parent.

Partial Custody

The right to take possession of a child away from the primary custodial parent for a period of time.

Visitation

The right to visit with a child, without taking the child from the physical custody of the custodial parent. Visitation can be supervised by a third party either formally or informally, or it may take place in the presence of the custodial parent. Sometimes, for safety reasons, it is important that visitation be supervised.

Specific Arrangements in Custody Orders

In custody matters involving domestic violence, it is often preferable that custody orders list specific arrangements or provisions so that they may limit conflict between the parties and be more easily enforced. For example, which parent has primary and which has partial custody should be addressed. If the abuser is going to have regular contact with the children, it is important to have provisions that control the time of pickup and delivery of the children, the place where exchanges will occur, and that specifically schedule holidays, vacations, and other important activities for the children. In addition, as explained more fully below, it may be appropriate to include supervised visitation, supervised exchange or third party exchange.

Supervised Visitation, Supervised Exchange and Third Party Exchange

If a parent is worried that the child[ren] would not be safe if left alone with the other parent, the concerned parent may request that the other parent be limited to supervised visitation with the child[ren]. Depending on the safety issues involved, visitation may be supervised by a third party, like a relative or friend. If safety concerns are significant, visitation may be supervised by a court agency or may occur in a supervised visitation center. If a third party is to supervise visitation by the abusive parent, this person should be carefully selected. The abused parent should choose someone who will carefully supervise the visits and not be intimidated, manipulated or coerced by the abusive parent.

When a parent believes the other can safely visit with the child[ren], but has safety concerns about exchanging the child[ren], sometimes these concerns can be addressed by asking the court to order supervised exchange or third party exchange. Supervised exchange occurs when the transfer of children from one parent to another is arranged and overseen by a third party, such as at a supervised visitation center. The purpose of supervised exchange is to limit contact between the parents and to provide for a safe transfer of children. It is intended to keep the parent who has been abusive away from the parent who has been abused.

In a third party exchange, parents deliver the children to a third party representative who then exchanges the children with the other parent (or the other parent´s third party representative). Third party exchange is also intended to limit contact and provide safety, but an abused parent should carefully select the representative to provide third party exchange on their behalf. The abused parent should choose someone who can be relied upon to follow the court´s provisions as ordered and not be intimidated, manipulated or coerced by the abusive parent.